-- I DIDN'T WANNA HAVE TO DO THIS TO YOU

[victoria nicole monroe]

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1:25 AM. that was what the clock in her car read. victoria glanced at it once more in silence and could only hope as she drove through the streets that brogan would still be awake. as much as she needed someone right now she knew that if there was no lights on in his place that she wouldn't even bother and probably just go back to her place and hope that manny didn't show up again. vikki drove slowly down his street, slowing down even more once she reached his house and then stopped with a sigh of relief at the fact that lights were shining through the windows of his house. she quickly pulled into a parking space, not caring that the front end of her car was sticking out, before she turned her car off and took the keys out of her ignition. every fiber of her body wanted to rush out of the car and up to his door but she held herself still. she slowly turned her eyes to meet her reflection in the rear-view mirror and frowned. her cheek was swollen and starting to turn a shade of purple and her bottom lip was split. luckily the blood had dried so she didn't look like such a nightmare but she could only imagine what the rest of her body looked like after taking a glance at her face. vikki didn't know why she even decided to go to brogan's house. sure, he had become someone she was really close to but she had never told anyone about how abusive manny was before and she didn't know how brogan would react. vikki was starting to become more and more terrified of the male race and the only reason why she was now turning to brogan was because he seemed different and she really had nowhere else to go.

so with a sigh and a quivering lower lip, victoria got out of the car and walked up the steps to his door. she paused a moment and silently wondered if this was what she really wanted to do before she finally balled her hand into a fist and pounded on his front door. how was she even going to explain to him what was going on? what was she going to say to him? that someone she once looked at being so damn perfect was now taking all of his frustrations out on her? that she stayed because she was more terrified of what he would do if she left him than him actually beating the shit out of her? the last thing victoria wanted to appear to brogan was weak, that she was some damsel in distress, but she really needed someone to talk to. bottling everything up and dealing with it by herself was taking its toll. she just felt horrible that she was going to be laying all of her bullshit on someone that she began to care so much about.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: drama dropped off on his doorstep
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.

[brogan jacoby mykels]

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brogan mykels was used to late nights. he had been accustomed to them ever since he was a teenager. generally it were partying with the boys that kept him up nightly. with his aging, it never really went away and he never really got into the right sleeping habits. sitting on the couch and flipping channels was typically his nightly routine. it never really changed much. cartoons were his channels of choice for the evening. which they typically were every other night. brogan was just a really big kid and everyone who knew him, knew that about him. he liked things like that. cartoons and super heroes were his thing. that's why he could relate so much to his five year old. they did everything together and cartoons and superheroes were a big part of their "relationship". scratching his head a couple of times, he pushed himself to his feet and headed into the kitchen. generally at this point in time at night, brogan was relatively restless. he felt the urge to continuously keep moving. he couldn't sit still for very long in any situation at any point in time and when he was at home, it was no different. pulling open the fridge, brogan pulled out the gallon of milk and took the cap off of it and took a drink. god, he loved drinking milk. if only he had cereal.. jacoby had managed to finish off the rest of it earlier that morning.

before he could finish taking a drink from the gallon, he heard a pounding on his door. he had to stop and think about who it could be for a couple of moments because if it were lukas, he'd have just come in like he owned the place. putting the cap back on the milk and pitting it back into the fridge, he made his way towards the door and opened it up without even looking through the door hole. he was kind of a rebel like that. the site he saw all but took his breath away. grabbing onto victoria's hand, he pulled her inside and closed the door behind her. his face ruffled and he didn't know what to say for a couple of minutes. someone clearly beat the shit out of her and he was going to find and kill whomever did it to her. "what happened to you?" he said as he raised his hand and brushed a couple of strands of hair away from her face so he could get a better look at the bruises and the cut on her lip. "who did this to you?" he asked with a hint of anger behind his voice. he couldn't bring himself to understand how someone to do something that like to someone so beautiful. so.. flawless. "victoria. who did this to you?"

TAGGED: victoria
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: sweatpants and a wife beater. hah.
COMMENTS: duuuude. awe.
CREDIT: mayday parade lyrics. lyric banner made by someone on caution?.

[victoria nicole monroe]

___________________________________________

victoria wasn't exactly sure what she had expected brogan to do when he opened the door but she didn't expect him to act like he did. maybe it was because most guys treated her like shit and/or didn't care about her that she sort of expected the same from him. however, once he pulled her inside and she got a good look at his eyes all she saw was concern. concern that quickly turned into anger. "what happened to you?" victoria swallowed hard and quickly dropped her eyes to the ground. she didn't know how much she should tell him, afraid that he would either go do something stupid and get himself hurt or that manny would find out about him. but brogan forced her to look up at him as she felt him brush her hair back. at one point he got a bit too close and she instinctively jumped a bit and pulled away, biting on her lip as she looked at him.

then brogan's voice got a bit more stern and his face set into a more serious expression, one which could have been called stony. she had never seen him look this serious and her only reaction was that her lower lip started to quiver more. by the third time he asked her, tears were flowing freely over her cheeks and she slowly began to sob. it was only then that the pain that manny inflicted on her began to register in her mind. that combined with brogan's concern and her vulnerability caused her crying to become a bit uncontrollable. she stood there like that for a few moments, crying her eyes out and slightly swaying where she stood before she reigned in her emotions. she didn't want brogan to see her like this. it was bad enough that she was bruised up, he didn't need to see her cry too. frowning at him, she raised a shaking hand and quickly wiped away her tears, shaking her head as she did so. "i'm sorry," she quickly apologized, finally getting her quivering lip under control before she could look him in the eyes again.

she didn't want to give up any info to brogan but it seemed stupid not to confide in him when she had showed up at his doorstep. scrunching her face up a bit as she thought she finally heaved a great sigh, her shoulders collapsing in defeat. "manny... my..." victoria paused, looking for a good word to describe who manny was but in the end she settled with the one word that she hated using when talking about him to her friends. "... boyfriend." in her mind, the man didn't even deserve that title. he was just... there. she couldn't even call him the guy that she was dating because it had been forever since they had actually gone out. after all, he couldn't hit her in a public place and hitting her was what he seemed to enjoy the most recently.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: i love brogan. end of story.
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.

[brogan jacoby mykels]

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there were girls in brogan's life that he would do absolutely anything for. there were girls that weren't in his life that he would do anything for. brogan was a people pleaser and when it came to women, he absolutely despised people who didn't treat women with the utmost respect. he still didn't know what he was doing when it came to victoria, but he knew that when he saw the way that she looked when she stood there in front of him, all of his defensive instincts came rushing forward and he felt like he needed to protect her in some way. when he asked her the third time what had happened to her, he watched as the tears fell from her eyes. if there was one thing he thought he'd never see, it was victoria cry. in a way, it broke his heart. a girl that beautiful never should have had a reason to cry. he wanted to take all of the sadness out of her life and he wanted to somehow make it better.

pulling her closer to him, brogan instinctively wrapped his arms around her and held her to him as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. brogan was always the protector. he was always the one that had to take care of everyone elses problems. he was used to this sort of thing, but when it came to victoria, he wanted to be her protector from the very beginning. "why are you apologizing to me? you have absolutely no reason to apologize to me," he said sternly. that was something brogan hated.. being apologized to when it wasn't necessary. victoria was crying, it wasn't like it was the end of the world. she was allowed to cry. she shouldn't have felt badly about it. he didn't understand girls sometimes. he didn't understand how when they cried how it made them weak. girls were supposed to cry. especially when they've had the shit beat out of them. anyone who didn't cry, that would be weird.

brogan knew that she didn't necessarily want to confess the truth about what had happened to her. really, he didn't blame her. knowing brogan, he'd do something rash, like rush out of the house without even thinking about it and more than likely getting his ass beat. besides, he couldn't afford to have his bike pushed over anymore by angry people he tried to pick fights with. ... boyfriend was all that he needed to hear. that was the biggest pet peeve he had, when women were treated like shit by the males that were supposed to care and love them. shaking his head, he clenched his jaw and looked at the ground. looking from the ground and into victoria's eyes, he sighed and continued clenching his teeth. "where is he?" brogan never thought things through and he wasn't planning on starting anytime soon. lukas was typically the one who kept his head on straight and since he wasn't there.. he was going to find the guy that did that to her and he was going to beat the shit out of him. or attempt to. whichever.

TAGGED: victoria
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: sweatpants and a wife beater. hah.
COMMENTS: duuuude. awe.
CREDIT: mayday parade lyrics. lyric banner made by someone on caution?.

[victoria nicole monroe]

___________________________________________

having brogan's arms around her like that was a blessing. victoria honestly couldn't remember a time in which she had felt this safe in someone else's arms. through still slightly cloudy eyes she looked down at his arm, taking in the extensive flesh that had become a canvas for him. it was something small but it kept her mind off of things. it was nice to see his arms for once because it not only proved to her that he was more built than she had thought but it allowed her to actually look at his tattoos. she quickly calmed down and turned her attention to him once she heard him speak again. "it's just... i shouldn't be laying all of this on you. you have enough things to occupy your time without me adding my bullshit on top of it. and... i normally don't cry. i usually can handle this by myself," she stated, kind of hinting at the fact that this wasn't the first time she had been abused.

victoria kept her arms around him, not exactly wanting to let go just yet. she knew it was wrong to play with brogan like this. then again... she didn't exactly consider it playing with him. it wasn't like she wasn't interested in him. it was quite the opposite actually. somewhere in the middle of everything she had grown to like him very much. she just didn't start anything with brogan because of manny. she looked up only to see brogan looking at her and what she saw there in his eyes scared her. she had never thought that brogan would be capable of being this mad or being this pissed off. "where is he?" victoria's eyes grew wide in fear and she quickly shook her head. "no, brogan. you can't. you have no idea who he is and you will only get hurt. it's bad enough that i came here to you like this. if he finds out about you... oh no," she whispered, shaking her head. then she clung on to him a bit tighter as if she could stop him from leaving. "please... please. just... stay with me, please," she begged, knowing that she probably looked and sounded so pathetic but she was willing to do anything to keep him there in that house with her.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: i love brogan. end of story.
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.

[brogan jacoby mykels]

___________________________________________

having victoria in his arms made him feel something that he hadn't felt in quite some time. he felt like he had someone to care about. he felt like for the first time since jessica left him, that he was happy. or at least on the borders of it. it felt right just having her there, confiding in him with everything that she had. he appreciated it more than she'd ever know or more than he'd ever let her know. as he held her there, she started to calm down and relax a little bit. that's what he was aiming for. he didn't want to see her worked up like that. victoria was special. she didn't need to be crying over some stupid guy that decided that he was going to hit her to make himself feel more like a man. i can usually handle this by myself she said and brogan nodded. "yeah, and sometimes you can't. that's where i'm going to come in from now on. whenever you need me, i'm going to be here for you, alright? even if you think it's bullshit. come to me about it. alright?" brogan wasn't as dense as he looked. he picked up on the fact that she'd been abused in the past. it nearly killed him to think about things like that. he couldn't even comprehend how anyone could lay a hand on a woman out of anger. it was pure blasphemy.

brogan didn't want to let her go. he felt safe with her there in his arms, even though it should have been the other way around. he didn't want to let her go. it wasn't a secret that he'd developed multiple feelings for her since they'd met. he'd grown a lot more close to her than he thought that he would. he didn't know if he ever was going to feel anything for another girl, but victoria made him question himself. brogan wasn't an angry person. in fact, he was quite the opposite. he was generally a happy-go-lucky guy and only got into fights when he was defending himself, but he wanted to beat the shit out of victoria's boyfriend. he wanted to ring his neck and make him feel everything that he made her feel as he beat the shit of her. but he couldn't find the will power to leave as he felt her cling to him and basically beg him not to go. please... please. just... stay with me, please. she spoke and his muscles started to relax as he let go of his anger. resting his forehead against hers, he shut his eyes. it wasn't like brogan to let it go. he didn't let anything go ever, but this was something he was willing to let go. why? because she asked him to. "i'm not going anywhere. but if i see him, i'm going to kill him" he said sternly. pulling his head back, he looked down at her and moved a couple more pieces of hair from her face to get another look at the bruising on her cheek. all he could do was sigh and shake his head. "if you were my girlfriend, that would never, ever happen. i don't understand how he could be that big of a fuck up. he doesn't even realize how incredibly lucky he is that he has you."


TAGGED: victoria
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: sweatpants and a wife beater. hah.
COMMENTS: duuuude. awe.
CREDIT: mayday parade lyrics. lyric banner made by someone on caution?.

[victoria nicole monroe]

___________________________________________

"yeah, and sometimes you can't. that's where i'm going to come in from now on. whenever you need me, i'm going to be here for you, alright? even if you think it's bullshit. come to me about it. alright?" victoria cocked her head to the side for a moment, observing him closely. brogan couldn't possibly be asking to be involved in this mess and yet he looked completely serious. at one point in her life she would have gotten her ex-boyfriend involved in it but the better she did for herself the more carlos wanted nothing to do with her. that was how it was though when you grew up in south central. every time someone did better for themselves and got their asses up out of there everyone else kind of despised them. then again, she wasn't carlos' responsibility anymore so she couldn't exactly blame him for not helping her out anymore. "well... i hope you have a lot of free time on your hands then, babe... if you are expecting me to come to you," she joked slightly, a faint smile resting on her lips. of course, she would tell him some things but she knew how busy brogan was and so she already knew that she wouldn't be bothering him too much about things.

relief washed over victoria as she felt him relax in her arms. she couldn't help but give a smile as his head leaned forward and rested on hers. feeling comfortable enough to loosen her grip on him, she unraveled an arm from around him and placed a hand gently on his cheek, caressing him with her thumb while she rubbed the tip of her nose against his. she found that her eyes had closed as well but they were shut only for a moment until he seriously stated that he would kill manny. victoria frowned in response but she wasn't going to argue with him about it. after all, brogan knew nothing about manny and it wasn't like brogan would do it anyways. he had a son to raise and a band to stick with. brogan couldn't afford to get arrested, especially for something that was her problem. she just hoped that he realized those things.

victoria silently let him brush her back once more while she looked at him quite expressionless. she would inevitably have to take a couple of days off from work until she could get away with covering it up with make-up. she knew that the boss was going to kill her and that she would have to tell him what had happened to her. that alone bothered the shit out of her. "yea, well i'm not exactly his girlfriend. i'm more of his property. his toy. his stress reliever. things didn't always used to be like this, brogan. i mean, the guy bought me a house! things were good and then... well, they just weren't. i want to leave him but... i'm scared what he will do to me if i try. i tried fighting back with him tonight and look where that got me." victoria defeatedly shook her head. if manny didn't end up killing her he was definitely going to take her house back and vikki would have rather died than end up back at her father's place, even for just a bit of time until she gathered enough money for a place of her own.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: i love brogan. end of story.
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.

[brogan jacoby mykels]

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the thing about brogan was that he liked to be the one that people ran to when they needed someone to listen to them. he liked being the guy that people dumped all their problems on because honestly, it made him feel important, special.. wanted and it had been years since he'd felt those feelings. jessica was the one that he invested everything in and even though he wanted nothing more than her to return the favor and invest everything into him, she didn't. instead she invested them into someone else. he liked being able to help people out when they needed to be helped. brogan was genuine in his efforts. he didn't expect anything in return for the things he did. all he wanted was the satisfaction of knowing that he helped someone out. well... i hope you have a lot of free time on your hands then, babe... if you are expecting me to come to you. a small smile crossed his face and he nodded his head. "do you really think a five year old and a band take up that much of my life? they don't. i'm here whenever you need me. day or night. which is pretty obvious since it's almost two am".

he felt her fingers on his cheek and he relaxed a little bit more. her touch was warm and welcoming. he couldn't imagine being anywhere else. he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. out of everything anyone had ever told her, he wondered if she believed anything that he was saying. brogan didn't lie and he wondered if she knew that. he didn't just randomly tell people that he would be there for them day or night just so they could vent. the more he stood there and had time to think about it, the more he realized that he probably wouldn't act on his threats. he had way too much to lose. jacoby being his main priority. yes, he'd had some run-ins with the police in the past and yes, he even had a criminal record, but that was all in the past. he couldn't afford it now.

yea, well i'm not exactly his girlfriend. i'm more of his property. his toy. his stress reliever. things didn't always used to be like this, brogan. i mean, the guy bought me a house! things were good and then... well, they just weren't. i want to leave him but... i'm scared what he will do to me if i try. i tried fighting back with him tonight and look where that got me. brogan shook his head at her words. it was absolutely incredible how someone could fuck things up so badly. her boyfriend didn't even realize the type of girl that he had and was just.. letting her slip away. "but see, now you've got me. you hang around me enough, he'll know not to ever touch you again. or even come near you again for that matter. i won't let him hurt you anymore, victoria." he said. that was a promise brogan intended on keeping. he didn't come out and say it was a promise, but it was, and he didn't make promises that he didn't intend on keeping. "i just.. don't see why you're still with him if he treats you like shit. you should have more respect for yourself than that. i mean, you're stunning and you're smart.. you deserve so much better than that. if you're scared of him coming after you, why don't you crash here for as long as you need. we've got an extra room. he won't touch you as long as i'm around"

TAGGED: victoria
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: sweatpants and a wife beater. hah.
COMMENTS: duuuude. awe.
CREDIT: mayday parade lyrics. lyric banner made by someone on caution?.

[victoria nicole monroe]

___________________________________________

"do you really think a five year old and a band take up that much of my life? they don't. i'm here whenever you need me. day or night. which is pretty obvious since it's almost two am." victoria just gave him a smile and then gently nodded her head. she really wasn't going to stand there and "argue" with him over whether she was going to confide everything in him or not. after all, opening herself like a book to him was very doubtful. she had never openly told anyone everything about herself. hardly anyone knew what she was all about except for those few people that had sheltered her from her father. her friends back in south central knew her, other people didn't and that was how she liked to keep things. of course, most of the shit that happened to her when she was growing up wasn't her fault but she knew how people thought. and the last thing she wanted was for brogan to think of her as this huge whore, which of course she technically was.

the more brogan volunteered to put himself right smack dab in the middle of everything the more she wished she hadn't come to him. it wasn't her intention to get him involved and it honestly made her feel horrible that he was making himself involved. she wasn't quite sure what she was looking for when she knocked on his door but she wasn't expecting this. brogan had everything going for him. he had a son and he played in a rather successful band; he didn't need this shit. victoria wouldn't be able to live with herself if something ended up happening to him. then brogan continued on the rant that she had expected and she pulled out of his arms, shaking her head at him. "you don't get it, brogan. manny isn't just abusive, he's crazy as hell. if i stay with him i know what to expect from him. if i leave... i don't know what the hell he will do and i would honestly rather get my ass beat by him than end up dead. i'm just biding my time until he finds someone else and gets tired of me. and really, you don't know a damn thing about me to tell me who i deserve to be with. i can't put this all on you," she replied, still shaking her head. her eyes stay trained on the tips of her white nikes as she contemplated leaving. victoria knew she really should leave but something kept her there, probably the fact that she didn't know where to go if she did leave.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: i love brogan. end of story.
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.

[brogan jacoby mykels]

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in all reality, brogan knew that he was overreacting. he knew that realistically speaking, he'd never even attempt to beat the shit out of victoria's boyfriend. honestly, he didn't even know why he got so mad about the whole thing. brogan was a fight when he needed to be, but typically he just left all of that stuff up to lukas. ever since the two of them were little, brogan had lukas fight his battles for him. he had a habit of overreacting when he should have been looking at it from another angle. that's exactly what he did. he overreacted. with a small sigh, he dropped his head and looked at the ground. how could he expect her to come to him with all of her problems? after all, they barely knew each other. sure they were close, yes, but they didn't really know each other and that was something that brogan wanted to change. it wasn't fair of him to ask her to come to him when he more than likely wouldn't come to her with all of his problems and all of his issues; just yet anyway. the longer he dwelled upon the thoughts in his head, the more they made sense to him and the calmer her became. he really needed to invest in the "thinking about things before he did them" tactic.

you don't get it, brogan. manny isn't just abusive, he's crazy as hell. if i stay with him i know what to expect from him. if i leave... i don't know what the hell he will do and i would honestly rather get my ass beat by him than end up dead. i'm just biding my time until he finds someone else and gets tired of me. and really, you don't know a damn thing about me to tell me who i deserve to be with. i can't put this all on you, she said to him and all he could do was nod his head. she was absolutely correct. he didn't know the first thing about her, but he did know that a girl as beautiful and as clever and as intelligent as she was deserved to be with better than someone who came home and beat the shit out of her every day. it disgusted brogan to think that there were actually guys in the world who found it fun to beat up the people that they're supposed to love and care about. i'm sorry he said simply. that was all that he could muster. he hated knowing that victoria had to go home fearing for her life and what was worse, he hated knowing that he couldn't do anything about it. do you want to stay here tonight? you know, so you don't have to go back home just yet? i will drop the subject if you'd like. brogan had another habit of dragging things on and on when they needed to be stopped. so, he figured he'd try and offer the most that he could to her. i think there's a really shitty kung-fu movie on in like, fifteen minutes if you're interested he said before looking up and flashing her a small smile. all he knew was that he wasn't ready for her to leave just yet.

TAGGED: victoria
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: sweatpants and a wife beater. hah.
COMMENTS: duuuude. awe.
CREDIT: mayday parade lyrics. lyric banner made by someone on caution?.

[victoria nicole monroe]

___________________________________________

victoria heard him sigh and then watched as her knight dropped his head in what seemed to be defeat. a frown turned her lips downward and her eyebrows knit together in a slightly sad expression. ok, so this was definitely not going as she had expected. she stood there in silence, nibbling on her bottom lip, for a few moments before she took slow steps towards him. her hand found its way to his cheek, caressing it gently as she listened to him, before it slide under his jaw as he conveniently looked up at her. her facial features quickly relaxed into a small smile that reflected brogan's own. "no, i'm sorry. it's just... i'm not used to people being that protective over me... not in a very long time, anyways. i really shouldn't have snapped at you like that. then again, i don't want you doing something stupid on my behalf and getting hurt in the process. i like you perfectly healthy," she joked.

victoria dropped her hand from under his jaw and then shoved her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie. she knew what brogan was up to. he was trying to get her to stay as long as he possibly could and really, she couldn't blame him. of course, it may have been possible that she didn't know how deep brogan really was but she had her own idea just from what she felt about him. knowing that she should have left his house didn't mean anything to her. after a silent conscious debate with herself she had already decided that she was staying, especially now that he had asked her to. "a shitty kung-fu movie actually sounds nice right now." she paused before giving him a gentle smile and then continued. "thank you brogan... for everything." then, without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face into his neck, enjoying the slightly intimate moment mixed with how amazing he smelled.

TAGGED: brogan
MUSE: average
CLOTHING: tight skinny jeans, black and white nike hightops, baggy black hoodie
COMMENTS: it's short. i suck.
CREDIT: chiodos lyrics. lyric banner made by moi.